Letting go and having faith that everything will fall into place has always been a struggle for me. By nature, I’m what you might call a control freak. It could be the engineer in me, it could be the perfectionist, or that I dislike surprise and not having things planned. I like to have a pretty good idea of the outcome before I take the next step. I’ve shared the story of my daughters’ birth several times and my close friends know it well. It was my biggest lesson in letting go.
When I was pregnant with my first child, Peanut, I had grand plans on how the birth would occur. I didn’t want any drugs. I wanted to have her “naturally”. When I showed up for my 38 week appointment, we were surprised to find out that my little Peanut was breech. All of the options provided to me at the time sounded pretty scary. So, a Cesarean section was scheduled in one week. I would be a mom ready or not. I was crushed. I had wondered what I did wrong that would cause Peanut to be breech. I went to my best friend’s house and she reminded me how fortunate I was and to be grateful and stop feeling sorry for myself. I had lost focus on what mattered – not how Peanut came to us but having a healthy baby. My plan didn’t matter and my higher power was proving that to me. She was perfect. The fact that her head was near my heart actually fit her personality, it was natural for her. She always wants to know what is happening around her.
So, having been put in my place during my first pregnancy, when we got pregnant with Sweet Pea, all bets were off. I knew I had little to no control over this, so why fight it? I had written out a birthing “intention”, not a plan as everyone recommends. I prepared myself, as best as I could, for anything. I let go and had faith in Sweet Pea and myself that she would arrive safely. Within 12 hours of my first contraction, after visualizing her arrival, talking with her, trusting myself and 5 good pushes, my lil’ fighter came into this world. Again, her strength began long before she was born, and this world had better watch out.
I was able to experience and fully enjoy these precious seconds of my life when I finally let go and had faith that everything was going to be okay. That the more I loosened the reigns, the smoother the ride would be. Like anyone, there are days, even weeks and months when I forget this lesson. Eventually my higher power reminds me in a gentle way that I’m not in control. I need to let go, to have faith.
Many times we forget to have faith in others, in ourselves, and in our Higher power. I’ve learned that by letting go and following our heart and trusting things will work out without me getting in the middle of it all. So many blessings are being handed to us. We only have to be open to receiving them. Even when they don’t come packaged the way we planned them.
No comments:
Post a Comment