Retouching Photos????

Dear Paul and the Lifetouch Inc. Board of Directors,

I am a mother of 2 young daughters. Both are in elementary school. To you, I am a consumer in your target market. I may want formal school photos, much like my parents bought when I was in grade school. However, I now have an option my parents didn’t. I can have my daughters’ photos retouched. I understand that this is at an additional fee. But I believe the price is much larger.

My oldest daughter, now in 2nd grade, can read this easily on her own. She may not understand what retouching or what a blemish is yet, but that will come soon enough. It may even be a discussion I have with her now. How do you tell children and young adults that the majority of what they see in photos and magazines and advertisements is not real? How do you tell them that 22 year old model on a magazine cover was not good enough the way she looked, so her cheekbones were enhanced, her waist slimmed down, her chest enlarged and even her skin tone was altered. Maybe the question is not how you tell them, but why? Why is this woman not good enough the way she was?

Pre-teen and teen girls & boys face so many emotional and physical changes. They face many more pressures than I did growing up. I wonder if the young adults that see this on your forms feel differently after having read it. I wonder if they feel relieved or more self-conscious. I wonder, will they think they are good enough? I wonder if 30 years down the road they will know how beautiful they actually were, naturally. I wonder if this was a discussion before you added it to your forms.

These are all questions I do not have answers to. I can only hope that my girls will have the self-confidence and feel good in their skin that they will never feel the need to alter their appearance in a picture. That I can guide and teach and support them so they know that they are good enough. That they will see the beauty and grace they have beyond the picture. Looking back at several of my school photos, it’s not the bad hair, the funny clothes or even the zit on my forehead that I see anymore. It is the happiness in the eyes, the shyness in the smile, the perfection of being perfectly imperfect that makes those photos so memorable. I want my girls to see that in themselves.

Thank you for your time.



Sincerely,

Edith Smith

Help! I Need Somebody!

Seems harmless enough. However, that word conjures up feelings of struggle inside me. It has taken me a long time to learn to ask for help. Or even to delegate tasks at work. See I always believed I had to do it. I didn’t want to let anyone down. I had to be perfect and part of that meant I should be able to do it on my own.

Asking for help, literally saying, “I need your help in moving this table.” or “I need you to take the kids to school tomorrow”, was something I wouldn’t do. I didn't feel like I could for a long time. It was my task to move the table, and these are my kids, how could I pawn them off on someone else, even though it is my husband, father of our children. :-) I know what you are thinking. This seems extreme. But for me, seriously, asking my husband to take our daughters to daycare was a big deal. Hell, even now having someone walk my groceries to my car seems weird.

At work, I know when I need more expertise than what I may have. In my profession, not asking for help can lead to serious problems. As for time/task management I have also struggled with saying, I’m not going to be able to finish this on time or I need someone to take part of it. Learning to delegate was a big lesson for me. I had to learn to do only the tasks that only I can do. But it empowered me to excel at the things that only I could do and give others the opportunity to broaden their skills and learn potentially something new.

So why am I so stuck on this right now? Something as silly as a ring tone has brought up the emotions I hold about asking for help. the ringtone that was picked for me is a Beatles song. I love the Beatles. I could name about 20 other Beatles songs before "Help!". Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Imagine, Good Day Sunshine, there are so many great ones. Does "Help" really describe me? Worrying about how others perceive me is a whole other topic that will be left for a later date. For now, Let's get back on topic.

I want to let this go, but in order to do that, I feel like I have to put this out into the universe.

I am Perfectly human.

I will need the help of others throughout this life.

I will support others the healthiest way possible as they are in need of help.

Asking for help is not a weakness.

That feels right for me. We all need help at some time. We are all perfectly human. We all need help at some time and some of us are lucky enough to have people that will help us.