Seems harmless enough. However, that word conjures up feelings of struggle inside me. It has taken me a long time to learn to ask for help. Or even to delegate tasks at work. See I always believed I had to do it. I didn’t want to let anyone down. I had to be perfect and part of that meant I should be able to do it on my own.
Asking for help, literally saying, “I need your help in moving this table.” or “I need you to take the kids to school tomorrow”, was something I wouldn’t do. I didn't feel like I could for a long time. It was my task to move the table, and these are my kids, how could I pawn them off on someone else, even though it is my husband, father of our children. :-) I know what you are thinking. This seems extreme. But for me, seriously, asking my husband to take our daughters to daycare was a big deal. Hell, even now having someone walk my groceries to my car seems weird.
At work, I know when I need more expertise than what I may have. In my profession, not asking for help can lead to serious problems. As for time/task management I have also struggled with saying, I’m not going to be able to finish this on time or I need someone to take part of it. Learning to delegate was a big lesson for me. I had to learn to do only the tasks that only I can do. But it empowered me to excel at the things that only I could do and give others the opportunity to broaden their skills and learn potentially something new.
So why am I so stuck on this right now? Something as silly as a ring tone has brought up the emotions I hold about asking for help. the ringtone that was picked for me is a Beatles song. I love the Beatles. I could name about 20 other Beatles songs before "Help!". Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Imagine, Good Day Sunshine, there are so many great ones. Does "Help" really describe me? Worrying about how others perceive me is a whole other topic that will be left for a later date. For now, Let's get back on topic.
I want to let this go, but in order to do that, I feel like I have to put this out into the universe.
I am Perfectly human.
I will need the help of others throughout this life.
I will support others the healthiest way possible as they are in need of help.
Asking for help is not a weakness.
That feels right for me. We all need help at some time. We are all perfectly human. We all need help at some time and some of us are lucky enough to have people that will help us.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Loosen your grip on the reigns...
Letting go and having faith that everything will fall into place has always been a struggle for me. By nature, I’m what you might call a control freak. It could be the engineer in me, it could be the perfectionist, or that I dislike surprise and not having things planned. I like to have a pretty good idea of the outcome before I take the next step. I’ve shared the story of my daughters’ birth several times and my close friends know it well. It was my biggest lesson in letting go.
When I was pregnant with my first child, Peanut, I had grand plans on how the birth would occur. I didn’t want any drugs. I wanted to have her “naturally”. When I showed up for my 38 week appointment, we were surprised to find out that my little Peanut was breech. All of the options provided to me at the time sounded pretty scary. So, a Cesarean section was scheduled in one week. I would be a mom ready or not. I was crushed. I had wondered what I did wrong that would cause Peanut to be breech. I went to my best friend’s house and she reminded me how fortunate I was and to be grateful and stop feeling sorry for myself. I had lost focus on what mattered – not how Peanut came to us but having a healthy baby. My plan didn’t matter and my higher power was proving that to me. She was perfect. The fact that her head was near my heart actually fit her personality, it was natural for her. She always wants to know what is happening around her.
So, having been put in my place during my first pregnancy, when we got pregnant with Sweet Pea, all bets were off. I knew I had little to no control over this, so why fight it? I had written out a birthing “intention”, not a plan as everyone recommends. I prepared myself, as best as I could, for anything. I let go and had faith in Sweet Pea and myself that she would arrive safely. Within 12 hours of my first contraction, after visualizing her arrival, talking with her, trusting myself and 5 good pushes, my lil’ fighter came into this world. Again, her strength began long before she was born, and this world had better watch out.
I was able to experience and fully enjoy these precious seconds of my life when I finally let go and had faith that everything was going to be okay. That the more I loosened the reigns, the smoother the ride would be. Like anyone, there are days, even weeks and months when I forget this lesson. Eventually my higher power reminds me in a gentle way that I’m not in control. I need to let go, to have faith.
Many times we forget to have faith in others, in ourselves, and in our Higher power. I’ve learned that by letting go and following our heart and trusting things will work out without me getting in the middle of it all. So many blessings are being handed to us. We only have to be open to receiving them. Even when they don’t come packaged the way we planned them.
When I was pregnant with my first child, Peanut, I had grand plans on how the birth would occur. I didn’t want any drugs. I wanted to have her “naturally”. When I showed up for my 38 week appointment, we were surprised to find out that my little Peanut was breech. All of the options provided to me at the time sounded pretty scary. So, a Cesarean section was scheduled in one week. I would be a mom ready or not. I was crushed. I had wondered what I did wrong that would cause Peanut to be breech. I went to my best friend’s house and she reminded me how fortunate I was and to be grateful and stop feeling sorry for myself. I had lost focus on what mattered – not how Peanut came to us but having a healthy baby. My plan didn’t matter and my higher power was proving that to me. She was perfect. The fact that her head was near my heart actually fit her personality, it was natural for her. She always wants to know what is happening around her.
So, having been put in my place during my first pregnancy, when we got pregnant with Sweet Pea, all bets were off. I knew I had little to no control over this, so why fight it? I had written out a birthing “intention”, not a plan as everyone recommends. I prepared myself, as best as I could, for anything. I let go and had faith in Sweet Pea and myself that she would arrive safely. Within 12 hours of my first contraction, after visualizing her arrival, talking with her, trusting myself and 5 good pushes, my lil’ fighter came into this world. Again, her strength began long before she was born, and this world had better watch out.
I was able to experience and fully enjoy these precious seconds of my life when I finally let go and had faith that everything was going to be okay. That the more I loosened the reigns, the smoother the ride would be. Like anyone, there are days, even weeks and months when I forget this lesson. Eventually my higher power reminds me in a gentle way that I’m not in control. I need to let go, to have faith.
Many times we forget to have faith in others, in ourselves, and in our Higher power. I’ve learned that by letting go and following our heart and trusting things will work out without me getting in the middle of it all. So many blessings are being handed to us. We only have to be open to receiving them. Even when they don’t come packaged the way we planned them.
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