Retouching Photos????

Dear Paul and the Lifetouch Inc. Board of Directors,

I am a mother of 2 young daughters. Both are in elementary school. To you, I am a consumer in your target market. I may want formal school photos, much like my parents bought when I was in grade school. However, I now have an option my parents didn’t. I can have my daughters’ photos retouched. I understand that this is at an additional fee. But I believe the price is much larger.

My oldest daughter, now in 2nd grade, can read this easily on her own. She may not understand what retouching or what a blemish is yet, but that will come soon enough. It may even be a discussion I have with her now. How do you tell children and young adults that the majority of what they see in photos and magazines and advertisements is not real? How do you tell them that 22 year old model on a magazine cover was not good enough the way she looked, so her cheekbones were enhanced, her waist slimmed down, her chest enlarged and even her skin tone was altered. Maybe the question is not how you tell them, but why? Why is this woman not good enough the way she was?

Pre-teen and teen girls & boys face so many emotional and physical changes. They face many more pressures than I did growing up. I wonder if the young adults that see this on your forms feel differently after having read it. I wonder if they feel relieved or more self-conscious. I wonder, will they think they are good enough? I wonder if 30 years down the road they will know how beautiful they actually were, naturally. I wonder if this was a discussion before you added it to your forms.

These are all questions I do not have answers to. I can only hope that my girls will have the self-confidence and feel good in their skin that they will never feel the need to alter their appearance in a picture. That I can guide and teach and support them so they know that they are good enough. That they will see the beauty and grace they have beyond the picture. Looking back at several of my school photos, it’s not the bad hair, the funny clothes or even the zit on my forehead that I see anymore. It is the happiness in the eyes, the shyness in the smile, the perfection of being perfectly imperfect that makes those photos so memorable. I want my girls to see that in themselves.

Thank you for your time.



Sincerely,

Edith Smith

Sometimes You Can Go Home...

This past weekend, I took my daughters to Pennsylvania to visit with their grand-parents. I left the town I grew up in after college. I fled across its borders and landed two time zones away in Colorado. I love Colorado, the open sky, the crisp air, the cold rain. For 10 years, one wedding, two babies, and countless friends, I made Colorado my home. Unfortunately during that time I denounced my true birthplace. I think many of us go through this path in life. For whatever reason, we remember the hurtful memories of the past more easily than the fun ones. We may have altered many events and tucked those memories in a closet. The photos only come out when you move or decided to re-organize a room. Then with some trepidation, you relive the photo with your friend or child.

This trip was different for me this time. We drove from our current home state of Virginia to Pennsylvania. Saturday morning I took my daughters to visit their grandmother. Myself on the other hand, would be spending time with my mom and a few friends from my youth. I think everyone was genuinely excited about the trip. This time, I was even looking forward to it. I decided to go into this with an open heart, not blocking out any of the emotions that usually surface.

As I drove closer, I made a conscious effort to feel into everything that came up. In this process, I learned a few things.

1. I need to get my eyes checked. OK - I know this really isn't a life altering revelation. However, rain, wet roads, head lights and trying to maneuver through traffic and construction almost kept me from getting home during our travels. Not fun for anyone.

2. I miss the stars. When I was a little girl, I would sit on the front porch and gaze into the stars. It helped me be at peace, although not how I would have defined it as a child. Peace is what the stars bring to me now. Colorado has such wide open skies, Virginia I feel almost smothered by trees at times. But the sky in Pennsylvania is the one I grew up knowing, framed by the house across the street, the roof top of the porch. I felt safe, hopeful and like I could reach any of those stars.

3. Simplicity. Seems easy, right? Not so much. I'm finally realizing I have spent most of my life complicating the hell out of things. If I wasn't making plans for things I couldn't control, I'd be upset with myself for not doing more, having more, or giving more. I have enough. I am enough. I give enough. I surrender control for the things I cannot control and I take responsibility for me and what I teach my daughters. I will teach them that they are enough and have enough. They will learn how and when and what to give.

4. True friends are always there. I have been blessed with so many friends. But the true friends, the ones that will call your bluff. The ones that will pick you up off the floor. The ones that will remember the good times and forgive you of the bad times. The ones that you can call at 2 in the morning on a Tuesday night. The ones you can laugh and cry with. The ones that love you for you. They exist. And although you may be a thousand miles away and have not talked in years. You know you can call and they will listen. These are the ones that have always been there even when you have pushed them away. They watch, don't judge, and will be there when you come out of the tunnel.

It was only a 5 day trip. Nothing has really changed in the town I grew up in. It was me all the time. I'm finally coming home to myself.

Namaste.

Where do I belong???

I love music. I always have. Ever since I can remember there was always music. Donna Summer, ELO, Sesame Street, The Beatles, The Beach Boys - these are some of my earliest music memories. My dad took me to see Sha-Na-Na and Michael Jackson. I would wake up and put the radio on. I would study to Barenaked Ladies in college. So you get the picture. I love music.

One thing I learned early on is that music can raise the spirits or hang out with you on a rainy day. I escape when I listen to music. It settles my soul. It brings lightness to my heart. Lyrics can be thought provoking, political, or just plain silly. Or Songs that tell a story... I have deep connection with this songs, or at least parts of them, for various reasons. I think they say all I need to right now.

The Lumineers - Hey Ho - "...I don't know where I belong, I don't know where I went wrong, but I can write a song..." or a plan for a yoga class...

Mumford & Sons - Little Lion Man - "...You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head..." - Stop being so damn critical of yourself...

Florence & The Machine - Shake It Out - "...And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn..."
Forgiveness & re-birth...

Michael Kiwanuka - Home Again
"...I left my head
Many times I've been told
All this talk will make you old
So I close my eyes
Look behind
Moving on, moving on..."

Ingrid Michaelson - Keep Breathing - "...All that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing..."

Of Monsters & Men - Little Talks - "...There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back, Well tell her that I miss our little talks..."

That's about all I have right now...What moves you?

Be Open to what the Universe has to teach you.

Is there a crack in the foundation of your life - a small stress fracture that needs your attention? Do something to repair it before it expands into a problem or full-blown crisis. Make plans to leave the job you hate before they let you go. Stop spending money you don't have before your debt is too overwhelming to face. Tell the truth to someone you love before the relationship goes south.

You have the power to repair the crack. Do it.... Now.

-Cheryl Richardson

My best friend told me about Cheryl Richardson. I wrote her name down and tucked the thought away of looking up her book.

A couple months later - a woman I met at a yoga workshop in Georgia, someone that has become a good friend, brought up the name again with a different book. The Art of Extreme Self Care - check it out. :-) Trust me.

It got my attention. The universe was putting a lesson in front of me and it was time to pay attention and read. So I did. That was January...

The quote from above came up today and just hit a nerve.

Then I read this...
The Lululemon Manifesto Monday:
Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. - Goethe

Then tonight on elephantjournal.com

So I suppose the universe is speaking to me again today.

I guess I wanted to share this as a reminder (mostly for me):
Be open.
Know you can't plan everything (even though I try to).
Follow your heart not your brain - at least when it comes to the important stuff.
Trust that you are where you need to be.
If you have something that you need to tell someone - do it before the gap grows wider.
May the last word you speak at the end of the day be a kind one.
Show gratitude.
Dream.
Smile.
Breathe.
Remember we are all connected.

Love & Light,
Edith

Help! I Need Somebody!

Seems harmless enough. However, that word conjures up feelings of struggle inside me. It has taken me a long time to learn to ask for help. Or even to delegate tasks at work. See I always believed I had to do it. I didn’t want to let anyone down. I had to be perfect and part of that meant I should be able to do it on my own.

Asking for help, literally saying, “I need your help in moving this table.” or “I need you to take the kids to school tomorrow”, was something I wouldn’t do. I didn't feel like I could for a long time. It was my task to move the table, and these are my kids, how could I pawn them off on someone else, even though it is my husband, father of our children. :-) I know what you are thinking. This seems extreme. But for me, seriously, asking my husband to take our daughters to daycare was a big deal. Hell, even now having someone walk my groceries to my car seems weird.

At work, I know when I need more expertise than what I may have. In my profession, not asking for help can lead to serious problems. As for time/task management I have also struggled with saying, I’m not going to be able to finish this on time or I need someone to take part of it. Learning to delegate was a big lesson for me. I had to learn to do only the tasks that only I can do. But it empowered me to excel at the things that only I could do and give others the opportunity to broaden their skills and learn potentially something new.

So why am I so stuck on this right now? Something as silly as a ring tone has brought up the emotions I hold about asking for help. the ringtone that was picked for me is a Beatles song. I love the Beatles. I could name about 20 other Beatles songs before "Help!". Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Imagine, Good Day Sunshine, there are so many great ones. Does "Help" really describe me? Worrying about how others perceive me is a whole other topic that will be left for a later date. For now, Let's get back on topic.

I want to let this go, but in order to do that, I feel like I have to put this out into the universe.

I am Perfectly human.

I will need the help of others throughout this life.

I will support others the healthiest way possible as they are in need of help.

Asking for help is not a weakness.

That feels right for me. We all need help at some time. We are all perfectly human. We all need help at some time and some of us are lucky enough to have people that will help us.

Loosen your grip on the reigns...

Letting go and having faith that everything will fall into place has always been a struggle for me. By nature, I’m what you might call a control freak. It could be the engineer in me, it could be the perfectionist, or that I dislike surprise and not having things planned. I like to have a pretty good idea of the outcome before I take the next step. I’ve shared the story of my daughters’ birth several times and my close friends know it well. It was my biggest lesson in letting go.
 
When I was pregnant with my first child, Peanut, I had grand plans on how the birth would occur. I didn’t want any drugs. I wanted to have her “naturally”. When I showed up for my 38 week appointment, we were surprised to find out that my little Peanut was breech. All of the options provided to me at the time sounded pretty scary. So, a Cesarean section was scheduled in one week. I would be a mom ready or not. I was crushed. I had wondered what I did wrong that would cause Peanut to be breech. I went to my best friend’s house and she reminded me how fortunate I was and to be grateful and stop feeling sorry for myself. I had lost focus on what mattered – not how Peanut came to us but having a healthy baby. My plan didn’t matter and my higher power was proving that to me. She was perfect. The fact that her head was near my heart actually fit her personality, it was natural for her. She always wants to know what is happening around her.
 
So, having been put in my place during my first pregnancy, when we got pregnant with Sweet Pea, all bets were off. I knew I had little to no control over this, so why fight it? I had written out a birthing “intention”, not a plan as everyone recommends. I prepared myself, as best as I could, for anything. I let go and had faith in Sweet Pea and myself that she would arrive safely. Within 12 hours of my first contraction, after visualizing her arrival, talking with her, trusting myself and 5 good pushes, my lil’ fighter came into this world. Again, her strength began long before she was born, and this world had better watch out.
 
I was able to experience and fully enjoy these precious seconds of my life when I finally let go and had faith that everything was going to be okay. That the more I loosened the reigns, the smoother the ride would be. Like anyone, there are days, even weeks and months when I forget this lesson. Eventually my higher power reminds me in a gentle way that I’m not in control. I need to let go, to have faith.
 
Many times we forget to have faith in others, in ourselves, and in our Higher power. I’ve learned that by letting go and following our heart and trusting things will work out without me getting in the middle of it all. So many blessings are being handed to us. We only have to be open to receiving them. Even when they don’t come packaged the way we planned them.